To the clouds we go...
mindfulness & nervous system regulation for children (and adults)
I am 24 years old and I often have trouble staying in the present moment, although I try my best to do so. Thoughts of the world, memories, and ideas come to mind, and I am taken away from Now.
Eckhart Tolle, a bestselling author and mindfulness coach talks in depth about this topic, mentioning once,
With practice, a sense of stillness and peace deepens. In fact, there is no end to its depth. You will also feel a subtle emanation of joy arising from deep within: the joy of Being.
Living immersed in the present is a practice in which babies and young children excel. As we age, our brains process more complex information streams, inevitably distancing us from that intimate focus on Being.
Kids as young as 4 or 5 may begin asking deeply reflective and complex questions, showing development of self-reflection and critical-thinking skills. This is sweet, but too many thoughts at once inevitably lead to normal feelings of stress and anxiety.
When we notice feelings of anxiety or stress, we have the power to calm them, but it is something we must learn over time. Most of us are not born naturally knowing how to relax ourselves.
Calming down is also known as regulating our nervous system, which assists in many functions of the body and brain. Regulating the nervous system helps improve immune and digestive system function, improve focus, process incoming stimulation effectively, have a more positive mood, and communicate more honestly (just to name a few.)
Anxiety is a normal feeling, and mindfulness of the present is one tool that children and adults can use to keep our beloved nervous system in check.
The following story will share one of the practices that (for years now) has helped me return to the present when I (sometimes randomly) feel anxious, and how I have shared it with kids.
[Note: Some adults or children have a more serious anxiety disorder or chronic stress, which often benefit from seeking additional support. This exercise is meant to help with temporary feelings of anxiety or stress.]
...Take a deep breath. When you breathe in, imagine all of your thoughts and feelings moving up and making a big cloud at the top of your head. Hold them there for a couple seconds... feel the cloud sitting there. Now when you breathe out, imagine the cloud floating up out of your mind, away from your head, and into the sky. Watch and feel it float away. Now do it again...
I spoke this breathing exercise out loud while sitting on a giant mosquito sculpture at the Minnesota Zoo one summer. The boys I was with, aged 7 and 9, had begun talking to me about meditation and the Buddha. We felt very zen atop this particular mosquito.
The younger of the two spoke, but meditation is so boring, what is even the point?
He was right, it is boring. Meditating is super not fun. But I responded that it does not have to be how he imagines the Buddha, sitting for hours on end.
It can be short, just long enough to remind us what is happening right Now.
I told them that paying attention to our breath can help us relax when we get scared, worried, or anxious; or at the very least notice those feelings, and not let them control us.
It was then I taught them the exercise, while we were already feeling calm…
[Children, as well as us adults, benefit from being in a calm state of mind when learning breathing or mindfulness techniques for the first time. This is not a requirement, but it prepares us to know what to do when confronted with more intense emotions.]
…A few weeks later, the three of us were at an indoor rock-climbing gym and the older of the two boys ran up to me, his energy speaking loudly before his words,
Mari! I made it to the top!!
*moment of celebration* and he continued,
In the middle, I looked down and I froze- but then I remembered what you told us about sending my thoughts up into the clouds… so I did that, and then I kept going until I made it up!
He was 9. I was proud.
From improved learning and memory to improved sleep during naps and at night, there are many benefits to mindfulness and meditation for children. In addition to the other benefits mentioned earlier in the article, this breathing excercise can be a calm way to end the day.
Consciously watching our thoughts is like any learned skill- not easy for anyone at first, but becomes natural with habit and practice, for kids just as adults.
Sources:
The Power of Now, by Eckhart Tolle [book]
No Body, No Mind. Meditating on our Baby Nature [blog post]
The Central Nervous System and Gut Microbiome [scientific article]
What does the Nervous system do? [scientific article]